Xlonerx's Journals

feeling alone

lately i have seen some people i use to talk to alot but now they dont even say a word to me i have the feeling that i did some thing wrong or said some thing wrong! it hurts that i use to know many people when i started buzznet net but now i geting regrets for doing it cause its hurting my feelings an i work hard to try to have friends on here but i gess i push them away. if i did do any thing please tell me so i can fix them if not i might quit buzznet for good

how the days go bye

to day i watch the sun rise an set to day over the water its so peace full that i can finaly have my own time away from the house with out the telling me what to do or get that or this away from my own jail i gess you you can call it.but im clam down alot now i can enjoy my life not to worry about exams in highschool any more pluse now i have to worry about the gas price an my truck to college now. but only 3 days a week not bad at all so im happy whay i have.

wake with pain in my heart

these days i see people having love in there hearts when i left cold in this world wishing i never had a past that holds me back hard to go past it. i feel a cold lump in my chest when i see two people near me have fun an holding hands . i wish i canbe let lose from my chains i hold around me. my heart weigh down with fears an the hate with the other feelings dryed up long ago that once i was never turn back to my old self the care free, happy,always smiling like a care free world,and kind ...... now over the years i grown cold to the touch even when i around others i feel alone lost in the shell i callo my body never free from the pian i hold in side.people say im mad all the time but im not just deep in thalt let the world just run by but it wont even seeing others pain i go an try to help them even i need help for my self. i feel like i take there pain away when im there an their pain becomes mine to hold.... at one point i did try to kill my self by not being around any one even family i just stop talking after that and kept my head down low like the song by metallica nothing else matters. i just try to keep the people i know an my friends safe only they known what happens to me but i wont let them get hurt i try to be the sheild for them an the sword to keep them safe

waking with nothin in side

day in an day out i feel like theres nothen in side me .every where i see love an happyness not knowing what to do lost in my own lost soule with a great burden holding me back keep ing away my feelings that i lost long ago wishing i never did ! now im face with the broken peaces that once was my old life an now. i feel like i only know hate.always ready to keep the ones i call friends safe but for my own self no i dont care what happens to me only the peace that will come if my end ever meats. day in an day out i try my hardest to be like the kind person i use to be. now im faced with lost of the people way back then hunt me with sadness . i feel noth hwen i see people crying or feeling sad like im broken not known where i might call home! feeling dead when happynes comes near me when people around me i turn away know ing i want to know but my frozzen heart stops me in my tracks knowing the pain that once torn throough me when i lost it all on that fatefull day when my mom was barryed i put my feeling an my love with her an cursed good an hated him for taking her from me.

another poem

Darkness feeds

Feared by all known by few as

I move on with this mark

A dark kiss place upon me as

The fangs dig deep as I sleep...

Darkness feeds

Awaken by the pain as the venom

Races to my heart

Departed from the world of light

I roam in the world of darkness

Of night

Darkness feeds

Pain and fear are all known to me

Hellbound to the endless darkness

Darkness feeds

Never knowing love an peace

As never release from the

Never ending hunger

Darkness feeds

a new poem i wrote

I turn your tears to roses

The world has hurt you and now im here to let love in

Within my arms your pain fades away as loneliness

Fades away

Day breaks as a new hope feels new to you as your wounds

are gone

Redrawn to the light as we walk on holding hands

I turn your tears to roses

I cover you when your cold when your lonely im there

Clearing the path for you so the pain and sadness wonâï¿½ï¿½t return

We learn new ways to heal each other wounds so love sets in

An heals

Feels warm and now the pain and sadness are gone

I turn your tears to roses

A new day comes and leads us an new way and love

I turn your tears to roses âï¿½¦âï¿½¦âï¿½¦âï¿½¦âï¿½¦âï¿½¦..

here are all of my poems i wrote so fare i hope yall like them

Fire

Burning in this night I see the pain and sorrow burning in this heart.

A dart hits its mark! The feeling flooding in to fast to count as the years go by.

I see you laying there crying as another heart is broken bye thy fire!

Dire it is to let old wounds heal! But thy wounds are a meal to those hungry eyes!

Fire

Burning in this night I see pain and sorrow killing me as the years go by.

Never wanting to be alone but my heart takes a mortal blow!

Tears of blood flow from thy eyes but never granting peace!

The feast of happiness evades me as a wolf on its own!

Fire

Burning in this night run for your life as I lay here dyeing

Knowing your peace will follow and the pain an sorrow ends with a wolfâï¿½ï¿½s mighty howl!

Tears fall

I see you crying the night away

A day will come to end the pain

My heart gains a new pain as your tears flow me away

A day will never come as my pain covers me away

Tears fall

Wishing your tears away

Day and night eases your pain as I hold u close

Never wanting the pain return!

Tears fall

Your pain eases away as a new day starts but

My pain never ends

Minded you are in the arms of love as I hold you close

As my darkness takes hold âï¿½¦âï¿½¦.

Tears fall

In the arms of sorrow I hold

Thy golden light fades as darkness falls on the battle field.

Death eating its way around me

I see u there crying as I try to end your pain!

Main of your pain will heal but thy pain will go on.

In the arms of sorrow I hold

A wolf gets pulled away from its pack trying to find a way back

A dome of sorrow fills the wolfâï¿½ï¿½s heart

As a dart hits near by as the wolf flees

My deeds are done as I feel u shaking in my arms

Wishing that your pain will just go away an let love in

As you mend, my sorrow flows on.

Dawn comes as a new day for you as I am imprisoned in the arms of

Sorrow

A battle

As I pick up this mantle covered in blood as the mud clings

Death sings as my blade dances as my chances become slim

My whim for the blood to end as wishing mends this broken heart

Tart taste fills my mouth as my blood comes up as the blade enters my heart

Art of the blade sways to an thro as death all around me

Not free as I forged on

Drawn to this endless madness as sadness covers me

A battle

As I rattle the cage as the rage from the beast inside

I cried out as I pull the blade out!

All-out blood frenzy takes hold

Cold fangs form as I kill thy enemy

A battle

As I watch the dead cry out

Without anyone to tell me itâï¿½ï¿½s over

As my love walks the battle torn land

Close to hand I call out to her as she keeps on walking

My heart flees as she leaves me to the battle at handâï¿½¦..

A battle

I stand as the expanding darkness takes hold

Cold to the world for this battle never endsâï¿½¦âï¿½¦.

Walking around hearing the cryâï¿½ï¿½s of the dead these blades in me. Oh. These blades in me! Roaming this earth known this darkness coming out!

Lone wolf

Thrown in this darkness inside as I kill the foe

Blow after blow darkness tearing me apart!

At heart wishing to end this darkness as this battle goâï¿½ï¿½s on

Dawn comes as a new day starts but the fighting goes on

Foregone in my past as the darkness flows

I snap too rows of my foes come to end this very life!

Strife unfolds as the bodies of my foes

Lone wolf

Returning from the endless bloodshed I will never be the same

Shame fills my heart as I see my friends and love ones

Sonâï¿½ï¿½s of darkness I am not letting any one near

Tears fall as the darkness goes on

Drawn to this endless pain I have but canâï¿½ï¿½t spare myself the pain that comes

Drums of darkness play to thy ears

Fear plays with the enemy as I kill in numbers as lone to this fight!

Lone wolf

Im the Amir of this death land as I rule aloneâï¿½¦.

fire

poem i wrote

Fire
fire

burning in this night i see the pain and sorrow burning in this heart.

a dart hits its mark! the feeling flooding in to fast to count as the years go by.

i seeyou laying there crying as another heart broken be thy fire!

dire it is to let old wounds heal! but thy wounds are a meal to those hngry eyes.

fire
fire

burning in this night i see pain and sorrow killing me as the years go by.

never wanting to be alone but my heart takes a mortal blow!

tears of blood flow from thy eyes but never grantingpeace!

the feast of happieness evades me as a wolf on its's own!

fire
fire

burning in this night run for your life as i lay here dying
knowin your peace will follow an pain and sorrow ends with a wolf's mighty howl!

song three

Lyrics to Take Me Under :
Now it seems Iâ�™m fading
All my dreams are not worth saving
Iâ�™ve done my share of waiting
And Iâ�™ve still got nowhere else to go
So I wait for you to
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

Seems youâ�™re wanting me to stay
But my dreams would surely waste away
And I still have nowhere else to go
So I wait for you to
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

Push me under
Pull me father
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

Push me under
Pull me father
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

Now it seems youâ�™re leaving
But weâ�™ve only just begun
And youâ�™ve still got nowhere else to go
So I wait for you to
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

Push me under
Pull me father
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

Push me under
Pull me father
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

And Iâ�™ve been waiting so long
And Iâ�™ve been waiting so long
And Iâ�™ve been waiting so long

So I wait for you to
Take me all the way

Push me under
Pull me father
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

Push me under
Pull me father
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

And Iâ�™ve been waiting so long
And Iâ�™ve been waiting so long
And Iâ�™ve been waiting so long

So I wait for you to
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

one of the songs i like

Lyrics to Get Out Alive :
No time for goodbye he said
As he faded away
Don't put your life in someone's hands
Their bound to steal it away
Don't hide your mistakes
'Cause they'll find you, burn you
Then he said

If you want to get out alive
Hold on for your life
If you want to get out alive
Hold on for your life

This is my last time she said
As she faded away
It's hard to imagine
But one day you'll end up like me
Then she said

If you want to get out alive
Hold on for your life
If you want to get out alive
Hold on for your life
If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive)
Hold on for your life (Life)
If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive)
Hold on for your life

If I stay it won't be long
Till I'm burning on the inside
If I go I can only hope
That I make it to the other side
If you want to get out alive
Hold on for your life
If you want to get out alive
Hold on for

If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive)
Hold on for your life
If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive)
Hold on for:

If I stay, it won't be long
Till I'm burning on the inside
If I go I can only hope
That I make it to the other side
If I stay, it won't be long
Till I'm burning on the inside
If I go, if I go

Burning on the inside
Burning on the inside
Burning on the inside